Grandparents should never be thought of as a burden
Grandparents often feel they are a burden, leading some to consider euthanasia to relieve family. The article argues this belief is false and grandparents should be seen as a gift. It cites recent popes, including Pope Benedict XVI, who have spoken against viewing elders as burdens. The piece highlights the need to change attitudes toward elderly care within Catholic families.
2 months ago
Grandparents are portrayed as invaluable members of families and society, with Catholic teaching emphasizing their worth and urging believers to reject the notion that they are a burden. The article draws on recent papal statements, biblical examples, and spiritual reflections to underline the importance of honoring and caring for older relatives. 1
Many seniors voice the fear of becoming a burden as health declines, sometimes leading to extreme choices such as euthanasia. The piece argues that this perception is false and harmful, urging families to view grandparents as gifts rather than liabilities. 1
Pope Benedict XVI addressed the issue in a 2008 address, describing how economic and social changes can push older people into a “parking area” where they feel unwanted. He called for strong reactions against dehumanizing attitudes and affirmed that grandparents are a “precious resource” deserving coherent policies that value them. 1
The pope highlighted biblical figures—Abraham and Sarah, Elizabeth and Zechariah, Joachim and Anne, Simeon, Anna, and Nicodemus—to illustrate that the Lord seeks each person’s contribution at every age. These examples reinforce the view that elders have unique testimonies of love and fidelity that enrich the community. 1
From a Christian perspective, caring for grandparents aligns with the Corporal Works of Mercy, allowing families to practice charity and compassion. When seniors suffer, they can offer their pain in union with Jesus for the salvation of their loved ones, giving their lives a redemptive dimension. 1
Rejecting the burden narrative supports intergenerational solidarity and counters the isolation of older adults in retirement homes. Recognizing grandparents as vital contributors promotes policies and family practices that honor their wisdom, experience, and spiritual role. 1
Reevaluate Catholic teachings on elder care and familial responsibility
Catholic teaching treats elder care not as optional charity but as a moral obligation of justice and love within families—while also insisting that society and the Church must support families so that care is possible without exploitation, neglect, or despair. The Church further argues that the elderly are not merely recipients of help: they are a gift, a source of wisdom, and a living part of the community.
Catholic teaching begins from the conviction that the elderly have an intrinsic dignity because they remain persons made for God. Pope Francis explicitly links this dignity to the moral health of a civilization: societies are judged by how they treat the elderly, giving them a place in community life.
Pope Francis describes a widespread social mindset—often called a “throw-away culture”—that casts aside those who are weak or unproductive. He calls discarding the elderly “a sin,” noting that the culture does not merely fail to help; it can also delete the elderly socially, making loneliness and anxiety worse.
“In a civilization in which there is no room for the elderly… this society carries with it the virus of death.”
“This throwaway culture seems to delete the elderly… as if they were a burden to carry.”
Reevaluation takeaway: Catholic teaching reorients elder care away from efficiency or economics and toward human dignity, solidarity, and recognition.
Pope Francis acknowledges both truths at once: many families truly respect and love the elderly, yet the care required can place real strain on relatives.
“Most families have great respect for the elderly, surrounding them with affection and considering them a blessing… On the other hand, the care that they require often puts a strain on their loved ones.”
This means Catholic teaching does not romanticize caregiving. Instead, it takes seriously the possibility that caregiving burdens can become excessive—especially where societies try to hide death and dying.
While Catholic ideals emphasize family responsibility, the Church also insists on assistance to families. Pope Francis says the Church must assist families who take care of their elderly and infirm members, especially when elders are exploited for economic advantage.
So, “familial responsibility” in Catholic thought is best understood as:
A major correction in Catholic teaching is that elders are not merely “clients” of care. In Amoris Laetitia, Pope Francis emphasizes that families and communities should reject indifference and contempt toward old age and instead reawaken gratitude and appreciation for elders as a “living part of the community.”
John Paul II goes further: the Christian community can receive “much” from older people—especially through evangelization within families, where grandparents teach grandchildren the “rudiments of the faith.” He also stresses that elders can comfort others through loving advice, silent prayer, and the witness of suffering borne with patience.
“How many families are grandchildren taught the rudiments of the faith by their grandparents!”
Reevaluation takeaway: Family responsibility is reciprocal. The elderly give wisdom, prayer, and continuity, while relatives receive these goods through care and relationship.
Pope John Paul II summarizes this as a “relationship of giving and receiving.”
Catholic teaching widens responsibility beyond the household. Pope Francis explicitly states that it is “precisely the Christian community” that must take care of the elderly—meaning relatives and friends, but the community too.
He makes the practical point that visiting the elderly—especially those alone—must be done “by many, together and often,” and accompanied by prayer.
Pope Leo XIV echoes this “never forget” theme in a World Day message: loneliness in homes and some care facilities can blur a person into a number, and the Church calls the faithful—especially the young—to recover the practice of visiting grandparents and even those “who have no one to visit them.”
Catholic teaching does not treat eldercare institutions as inherently wrong. John Paul II says that “the ideal” is for elders to remain within the family, with adequate social assistance when age or illness increases needs. But he also recognizes that circumstances may “suggest or demand” admission to “homes for the elderly,” which can be praiseworthy—especially if inspired not only by efficiency but also by loving concern.
“Such institutions are indeed praiseworthy… when they are inspired not only by organizational efficiency but also by loving concern.”
Pope Francis likewise highlights that many elderly are cared for in Church institutions where, “materially and spiritually,” they can live in “a peaceful, family atmosphere.”
Reevaluation takeaway: Catholic teaching allows legitimate institutional care as part of a morally serious continuum—so long as it preserves personal dignity, spiritual life, and real relational warmth rather than cold management.
A critical element in Pope Francis’s discussion is that modern societies can exploit vulnerable elders. He notes that euthanasia and assisted suicide are “serious threats” to families and have been legalized in many countries. The Church “firmly” opposes these practices while also needing to assist families who care for elderly and infirm members.
This links elder care to a consistent moral position: when the elderly become socially disposable, the temptation can arise to solve suffering by eliminating persons rather than by supporting them. Catholic teaching therefore insists on both:
Bringing these sources together, a Catholic reevaluation of elder care and familial responsibility points toward these priorities:
Catholic teaching on elder care holds together three inseparable commitments: dignity of the elderly, real responsibility of families that is never left unsupported, and community obligation to visit and pray for those at risk of loneliness or neglect. Where Catholic teaching is most “revolutionary” is in refusing the idea that older people exist only for usefulness; instead, they are a blessing and a gift that calls society—and families—to grow in gratitude, solidarity, and love.