Love is not a feeling but a decision, Pope Leo XIV tells couples
Pope Leo XIV emphasizes that love is a decision and lifelong covenant, not a fleeting feeling, in the foreword to the new edition of the youth catechism YouCat: Love Forever. He stresses that true love is self‑serving, forgiving, and reflects God's love, urging young couples to love as Christ loves. The catechism, to be released in November, includes testimonies from young people in over 30 countries, showing the universal appeal of the message. Pope Leo encourages young people to embrace the depth of love, seeing it as the “DNA of Christianity” and a preparation for a lifelong commitment.
21 days ago
Pope Leo XIV has presented Christian love as more than an emotion: in a foreword to a forthcoming youth catechism on love and marriage, he describes it as a deliberate commitment expressed through self-giving, forgiveness, faithfulness, and lifelong perseverance. 1 3
The pope’s foreword appears in a new edition of YouCat: Love Forever, a catechism intended for young people preparing for marriage and scheduled for publication in November. The edition includes testimonies from young people in more than 30 countries. 1 3
Leo XIV writes that the human desire for “deep, passionate, and enduring” love reflects the belief that people are created for love. He says romantic attraction may begin suddenly and intensely, but genuine love develops into “a profound ‘yes’ to the other, a decision, a journey, and a lifelong covenant.” 1 3
He presents lasting relationships as being built through mutual trust and a willingness to commit to “forever.” In this understanding of love, the first question is how to love as Christ loved, while the question of personal gain is placed second. 1 3
According to the pope, God can be present within human love and transform it. This transformation gives people the capacity to love through generous self-giving and, when necessary, forgiveness. 1 3
Leo XIV describes marriage as a reflection of Christ’s love for the Church. He says that when a man and a woman give themselves completely to each other, their fidelity, forgiveness, and daily efforts for one another reveal something of the divine mystery. 1 3
He also tells young people not to fear the depth of the love to which they are called. Such love, he writes, can overcome difficulties and sustain a couple throughout life, even though it is not perfect and must grow through faith. 1 3
The foreword distinguishes this vision of love from relationships shaped primarily by selfish desire. The love the pope describes is a gift from God, marked by selflessness, patience, and kindness, and associated with the qualities listed by St. Paul in his First Letter to the Corinthians. 1 3
Leo XIV points to the crucifixion of Jesus as the clearest image of true love. Christ’s willingness to die for humanity, he says, expresses the central Christian commandment and what he calls “the DNA of Christianity.” 1 3
The pope describes the new catechism as preparation for a lifelong “yes,” rather than a commitment intended only for a day. He says the vocation to love requires confidence and courage and reflects a plan greater than any merely human dream. 1 3
He concludes by encouraging young people to respond to what he calls “the most beautiful of all vocations: the vocation to love,” presenting marriage as a path of faithful, tireless, and self-giving love. 1 3
Love is a covenant, not a feeling, according to Catholic teaching
According to Catholic teaching, love is more than a feeling: it is a free and enduring gift of oneself. Feelings are valuable, but they change; marital love becomes a covenant through the spouses’ deliberate consent and promise of lifelong fidelity.
A covenant differs from a mere contract. It is not simply an exchange of services but a mutual giving of persons: “I give myself to you,” freely and without conditions. In marriage, this gift is intended to be:
Thus, “love is not a feeling” does not mean that affection, attraction, or emotion is unimportant. Catholic teaching recognizes these dimensions of love, but insists that authentic conjugal love must also involve the will and a responsible commitment. Pope John Paul II described it as “not a passing emotion or infatuation,” but a free decision of total self-giving.
Because Christian marriage is a sacrament, the covenant participates in Christ’s faithful love for the Church. God’s grace enables spouses to forgive, persevere, and continue loving even when emotions weaken or difficulties arise.
In short: feelings may begin or accompany love, but the covenant makes love steadfast. Catholic marriage is not merely “I feel love for you today,” but “I freely give myself to you and will remain faithful to you throughout our life.”