Sister Virginia Joy Cotter of the Sisters of Life spoke at the 2026 SEEK Conference in Denver about discerning one's vocation. The talk, titled “The Adventure of the Yes: Following God’s Call,” was attended by hundreds of young women. Vocation is ultimately defined as a call to love and be loved. The article introduces seven ways to discern one's vocation based on Sister Virginia Joy's presentation.
about 2 months ago
Hundreds of young women attended Sister Virginia Joy Cotter's talk, "The Adventure of the Yes: Following God’s Call," on January 4, 2026, at the SEEK 2026 Conference in Denver.1
Sister Virginia Joy, of the Sisters of Life, addressed discerning one's vocation as a call to love and be loved.1
Vocation derives from the Latin "vocare," meaning to call, name, or summon, emphasizing a personal relationship between the individual and God.1
It focuses not on career choices but on "what are you going to do with your love" and how to make a gift of oneself.1
Discernment begins by receiving God’s love first, as vocation flows from this relationship.1
A real prayer life is essential, involving honest conversations with God about longings, confusion, or pain, fostering patience like any relationship.1
Staying close to the sacraments, especially confession and the Eucharist, ensures living in grace and provides strength to respond to God’s timing.1
Sister Virginia Joy noted making major life decisions after confession, crushing fears of missing one's vocation.1
Holiness and the call to love are practiced daily through acts with family, friends, or roommates, even before a definitive state like marriage or religious life.1
Everyone is called to love right where God has placed them.1
Women possess a "uniquely feminine" capacity for receptivity, generosity, spiritual maternity, and leading others to God, reflected in body and soul.1
Identifying these gifts aids discernment.1
A key indicator is an undivided heart and interior freedom, where fear yields to peace and clarity about total self-gift.1
Sister Virginia Joy shared her divided heart between marriage and religious life resolving during a retreat, hearing God say, "You. All of you for myself," bringing freedom.1
She affirmed each person's unique love story, with God desiring their free response in marriage, religious life, or lay life.1
Discernment of vocation as call to love and being loved
In Catholic teaching, the discernment of one's vocation is fundamentally a journey of discovering God's personal invitation to love Him and others more deeply, while experiencing His love in return. This process unfolds through prayer, silence, communal support, and openness to the mystery of divine will, encompassing calls to priesthood, consecrated life, marriage, and lay witness. Rooted in Christ's own invitation—"Come, follow me"—vocation is both a sign of God's electing love and a response of self-gift, transforming the individual into an instrument of salvation. As emphasized across papal messages and Church documents, this discernment counters modern haste and individualism, fostering hope amid life's uncertainties.
Every vocation originates in God's initiative, a "dialogue between Christ and an individual" where He calls by name, saying "Come, follow me." This call is "a sign of love and an invitation to love," echoing Jesus' gaze upon the rich young man: "Jesus looking upon him loved him." It demands a free response of faith, involving renunciation and trust, leading to "fullness of joy in [His] presence." The Final Document of the Congress on Vocations describes it as born from "in-vocation," a prayerful listening to the Father who, through the Son and Spirit, summons one to self-gift for the world's salvation. Prayer activates trust and abandonment, overcoming fear, as seen in the early Church's prayerful decisions (Acts 2:42; 13:1-5) and Jesus' plea: "Pray therefore the Lord of the harvest to send out labourers."
Pope Francis reinforces this in his messages, portraying vocation as "God’s plan for men and women in every age," a joyful encounter with "God-with-us" who knows our longing for love. It is not chance but divine design, discerned amid "troubled times" like Elijah hearing God's whisper (1 Kgs 19:11-13). Similarly, the 2025 World Day message urges pausing amid worldly noise to hear God's dreams, realizing life as a "gift" for others' peripheries.
Discernment is essential, a "process by which a person makes fundamental choices... in dialogue with the Lord," never solitary but communal. It requires "silence of prolonged prayer" to perceive God's language, interpret inspirations, and view existence anew. Pope Francis stresses: "The silence of prayer is indispensable if we are to learn how to hear God’s call... and respond consciously and freely." This echoes Christus vivit: "We simply cannot do without the silence of prolonged prayer."
Criteria include openness to mystery, prudence born of hope, and integrating personal polarities without presumption or despair. Authentic certainty remains investigable, trusting Another rather than self-ability. Vocational educators—faithful pray-ers—teach this "in-voking prayer," as in the Emmaus plea: "Stay with us" (Lk 24:29), warding off life's darkness. For consecrated life, awareness of its ecclesial nature precedes signals of divine call. Pope John Paul II prayed for youth to see God's will "in every moment... the design of love for all my life," generous in fidelity as priest, religious, or lay salt-and-light.
The Church mediates God's call as "Mother of Vocations," fostering discernment collectively, as when Peter gathered 120 brethren (Acts 1:15) or Paul advised Titus on presbyters (Titus 1:5-9). Vocations are "con-vocations," antidotes to individualism, demanding service to God's plan. Priests shepherd as "gate" and "good shepherd" (Jn 10:7,11), accompanying discerners. Communities pray constantly, select candidates carefully, and sustain them, like Mary's womb welcoming the Spirit (Lk 1:35-38).
This communal dynamism ensures ecclesial character: "No one is called exclusively for a particular region... but for the Church and the world." Missionaries return to their sending community (Acts 14:27). Recent addresses affirm discernment's joy in "right decision[s]," urging boldness in self-giving per God's plan.
All vocations configure one to Christ's love. Priesthood and consecrated life embody poverty, chastity, obedience explicitly; marriage, the "lofty calling," integrates their spirit via responsive love. Baptism initiates a "betrothal" analogue: dying to self (Rom 6:3-11), ordered to spousal love and counsels spiritually. Single baptized life prepares for consecration or matrimony, renouncing preferences for perfection (Mt 6:33).
Vatican II first termed marriage a "vocation," yet discernment prioritizes consecrated states objectively superior, urged by Magisterium. Marriage demands "obvious signs," a "qualified... call" amid commandments' dangers. Aids include self-knowledge, Scripture, Church teaching, prayer, direction—discovering God's providential plan. Ordo virginum discernment examines history honestly, beyond physical integrity, for spousal witness. Lay faithful are "salt, light, leaven" via commitments.
Pope Francis links to Mary: her "yes" risked all on promise, model for bearing God's promise boldly. Vocation prophesies hope in crisis, unsettling false tranquility.
Modern mindsets close to mystery inhibit openness; hasty choices drown God's voice. Yet discernment yields "light, joy, and peace," confirming God's call. It equips for peripheries, confirming mission as Christ's presence. Happiness lies in self-gift, decision's delight.
In summary, vocational discernment reveals God's loving call to love, through prayerful, ecclesial journey yielding joy in fidelity. Prayer, community, and openness discern paths—consecrated or marital—mirroring Christ's spousal love. Heed the whisper: respond generously, finding life abundant.